Day 1: “It’s not good enough.”

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It's not good enough. I think that every time I talk to camera. So, here's day one of talking to a camera until my fear of talking to cameras goes away. Really, it's not the fear of talking to cameras, it's being judged for what I'm saying. I want to put videos out there that help people, and just talking doesn't feel like it helps people. So, what's the point? I am just trying to be obedient to this feeling. For 10 years, I felt like I've needed to do this, but I've been held back by this feeling that it's not good enough. So, this is me trying. There are things that you really want to do that you're just not because you feel like it won't be good enough. And you probably have proof that it's not good enough. But the only way that you're going to get better, like me, is by doing this. Just doing it. You may hate it, like me, but by being obedient to that feeling that you have a specific calling, or even that God is asking you to do something specific that aligns with the goodness that he is, we just got to do it and trust him with the process. And what's the worst that happens? We get made fun of. You ever heard of this term, fear of God? It's never made sense to me. So, I started digging into it recently, and it's all over the Bible. Talks about how fear of the Lord brings wisdom, knowledge, understanding. And I want that. In some areas of my life, I do fear God. I have feared God. Not in this scary way, but like I obey the things that God is asking me to do. Love my wife. Take care of my family. Serve the church. Trust him with my finances. That's still hard, but we still tithe cuz the Bible asks us to do so. It's a command. But for things like this, if you think of it as, you know, giving your phone permissions to do things, you have the option to leave some things off, right? That's what this feels like. It's too uncomfortable to give them access to the place that I am extremely self-conscious about. Do you have something like that? Or am I alone in this? Let's do the things that God has asked us to do and be obedient. Looking back on moments like this video, we'll eventually know why. But for now, we're just going to have to trust it. Trust that he knows better than we do, and that something good will come from this. And maybe it's not for me. Doesn't have to be for me. Doesn't have to be for us. Could be for someone else. And we have to be okay with that. I'll see you again soon.