Find My People

Hey there, friends and welcome back to becoming a boss where we take some time each week to share stories and strategies so that you can grow into the best version of your self. I'll be yourself. Okay. Welcome back. Thanks for being here.What are we gonna talk about today? That's the question. We're all wondering, what do we have to talk about? We're going to talk about how to find your people. Okay. How to find your people. Five quick tips. It's not going to be a whole thing. Okay. We're going to do 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, but before we do that, let me tell you why you need your people. All right. So. There was a study, very, very old study. The oldest study. In fact, that is still in existence today. Here's what it's about. So the premise is they're trying to determine how to measure happiness. How does a person live a life? And. Be happy, essentially. Okay. So here's what they found. All of these 700 people ish, 80 ish years. Here's what they found. If you have two or three people in your life that you can call in the middle of the night. Okay. So pretend your life is on fire. Everything is burning to the ground. It's two in the morning and you can call. ABC. Two or three people. The requirement in order to live a happy life is that you have. Two or three refrigerator, friends. Okay. People who will come over and they'll just go in your fridge there. We're not going to ask. They're not going to small talk. They are going to just go right in your fridge. And get themselves a snack. All right. And I'm telling you right now, if you don't have those types of friends in your life, then you're pretty much doomed. Okay. You're doomed. According to the study. Anyways, Is that how you want to live your life? I don't think so. before we even go, let me just tell you something. I, if you are sitting there. Right now saying I don't need people. I understand that was me just maybe a few short years ago. I was you saying, why? Why do I need people? I don't need people. I'm fine. I'm good. I'm fine. On my own. I can do this by myself. Yes, you can. The answer is yes, you can do it by yourself. However, if you want to live a life of happiness, according to research people, then you're going to have to find your people. And I'm going to tell you how, okay. Caveat here. These numbers one through five. They've been. Tested by me and also my friends. Here's what I'm saying. You don't need to do all five. Just pick one, pick one that feels. What's the word. Natural to you and move forward with that. Just do one, pick one. I know you can do it. Alright, here we go. Number one, do something nice for your neighbor. I know. Here's the thing about neighbors. They live right here. It's like you're all together in the same neighborhood already. So you have that in common. You already have a common thing to talk about because of the neighborhood? Um, I know some neighbors are not all that. Here's what I'm saying. Pick a neighbor that looks like you might have something to talk about. What? That maybe they look cool. Maybe they were Nike's and you wear Nike's or maybe they have young kids and you have young kids or maybe. They have. Teenagers and you have teenagers. Or maybe. Their grass is particularly green and your grass is particularly green. Okay. And then maybe you can get together and talk about the other people's grass who. It's not green. Maybe you could do that together. Not saying you should gossip, but. If that's what it takes to make a friend then. So be it. We can work out our real issues later on together. All right. So yes. The other bonus part about your neighbor, if you are able to befriend neighbor, is that when you are making cupcakes later, Or whatever you're making a cake and you don't have any eggs. You could just run over and borrow an egg. Okay. Who wants to go? No one wants to go to the store in the middle of making cupcakes. Because they don't have an egg. All right. Unless you guys are the responsible type of people, you just always have eggs in the house. I don't know. Do you, do you always have eggs? Cause I don't. I don't even like eggs that much. To be honest, my relationship with eggs is. Sometimes I eat them all the time. Sometimes they hate them. It fluctuates. Either way. I'm saying, if that is you. Then maybe you don't even have to worry about eggs because you have a neighbor friend who will just give you an egg. Okay. So that's one thing. Do something nice. Help your neighbor scope them out. Maybe they want to be your friend too. I don't know. Number two. Before I tell you, number two, I have to tell you a correct story. Okay. So here I am. I wake up one morning and I am in the zone. Okay. I'm coming up with. All these great ideas. And let me tell you, I am not an idea person. Okay. I don't have a lot of ideas, but if I'm ever going to have a good idea, it's going to come in the morning. Okay. So here we are. The sun is not even up yet. I have not even had. Too much coffee. And here's what happens. I come up with this amazing idea. I'm so excited about it because I just know it's going to work. And I figured out all the things. And by the time my husband wakes up and he comes downstairs, I have figured out. Who we're going to market this to how it's going to get marketed, who I'm going to call to get it off the ground, all the things I have figured all this out. And I give him the two minute elevator pitch about all the things that we're about to do, and we're going to be rich. Okay. We are going to be rich because I have a great idea. My idea is if you could just take the dating app that, you know, people use to swipe, you know, you know that, okay. And repurpose it to find friends instead of dates. Because here's the thing. When you get to be a grownup. It's really a lot more challenging to actually find friends because let's face it. You're in community with people as a young child, because you're in school, you're in elementary school, then you're in middle school, then you're in high school. Then you got some people go to college and they make college friends. And then after that, it's like, you're growing up. You now are in the world. You have to pay your own rent. You have to work your own job. And it's like, where are you going to meet people? Where are you going to meet people at. At work. So you want to be friends with your colleagues. Not all of us want to do that. It could be dangerous. All that to say, there are people who it's not easy to find friends when you are a full-blown grown-up okay. So if you're a full-blown grownup and you have an app in the apps already built, because it _already has _these things built, that match you up with the people and you match together and they can match them up. Well, why can't you do that for friends? You can, and it's amazing. And it's going to be great and I'm, we're going to be so rich. It's going to be amazing. Okay. So my husband lets me go through all of the. Like the whole thing, he lets me go through. I'm telling him what we're going to. You know, all the things. And he says to me, honey, you're right. That is a good idea. It already exists. It's called Bumble. And apparently there are other ones that are like it too. So. Anyway, all that to say, we're not rich. And the idea was good because it already exists. Obviously. Then I come to find out that our people even have used it successfully many times because they moved. So when you move, it's even more challenging because if you're a full grown adult, you may have friends from school, right. From college or. Or high score or whatever, but if you move across the country, What are the odds that your friends moved with? You? They're probably not high. So who are you going to be friends with? How are you going to find friends? You're going to go to the bar. That's your plan? That's your strategy. You're going to go to the bar. Okay. Alright. Let me know if that works. I'm just saying, I don't know if it's going to, but if it does all the power to you. Started your number to download the app. Try it. What's the worst that could happen. Just saying. Okay. Number three. Uh, 10 church. Or Bible study. and Hey, if you're sitting there saying, Megan, I am not, you have got the wrong chick for this. I hear you. It's okay. I understand. Because 10 years ago, if you would've said the same thing to me, I would have thrown you out into the street. Okay. So this is not your style that okay. But if it is your style, then do it. Get out of your house and go to church. Because there are people there who are like-minded. Now I'm going to give you a caveat to all right, because if you do go to church and you are familiar with this. Type of surrounding, you know, just because people go to church does not mean they are nice. I'm saying they maybe have a little, a slightly higher odds of being nice because they're at church, but let me assure you. The people are messed up, no matter where you go, we've all got problems. Okay. Issues as far as the eye can see, and it doesn't matter if you go to church or you don't go to church. Probably the only difference is if you do go to church, you maybe are more aware of your issues. Maybe. All right. Number four, connect with someone at an event, which you are attending to cultivate your own interests. Okay. So what events are you going to that are. Cultivating your interests. If you like already going to art shows, art festivals, are you going bowling or you signed up for an ultimate Frisbee league, are you, what are you doing? Okay, so whatever event that you're attending. To cultivate your own interests. Well, guess what? Probably there is a person there who also likes whatever it is. I mean, AF you are playing ultimate Frisbee, then they obviously, you know, we're both playing Frisbee. We, we have something in common. And then plus if you are playing Frisbee, you probably are an athletic type person. Maybe you also like sports. Maybe you like football. Maybe we'd go watch football to get. I don't know. Here's what I'm saying. When you go out To attend an event that you're interested in, then be intentional about connecting with someone who is there, be intentional about it because you know what? You already have something in common. So the odds are really high. A lot higher than just random on the street or at the bar. Number five. All right. If you didn't throw me up the window in the last one, you're definitely throwing me out the window on this one. Join a gym. That's number five. All right, listen, listen, listen before you, before you go. I go to the gym. I. Before I say that. I'm not saying you have to go get a six pack. And also I do go to the gym, but it's more like, So that I have a destination to walk to in the neighborhood because I'm trying to get my steps in. All right. So maybe you're not trying to go to the gym per se, but you're just trying to get your 10,000 steps in. So you go on a long walk to the gym. That's what I have to do. I just go on a long walk to the gym. In fact, maybe you meet somebody on your walk because the weather is breaking in most areas of the country. You're outside. They're outside. You're walking. They're walking. Maybe you meet somebody on your walk. I don't know. Maybe you could walk and talk. If you are working remotely and you're at home all the time. At your desk. I will tell you that it was listening to a productivity guy on a podcast. And he was saying that your brain will actually be more efficient and productive. If you can. Every 90 minutes go on a 15 minute walk and talk to someone about something that is not work. So not only is it good for not to mention it's good for your physical health to literally walk for 15 minutes a day, you get sunshine, you get vitamin D you get. All the benefits and you might accidentally meet a friend walking to the gym, or you can go to the gym and actually. You know, do the things keep in mind again, just like all, all of the rest of the four numbers that I gave you when you're at the gym, people may or may not have a headset in. They maybe can't even hear you. Maybe they're not ready for a conversation. Maybe they are. I don't know, but I'll tell you what. I can attest to this because I've been to many gems. People sometimes. R, okay. People are going to the gym, usually the regular time, every single day or three times or whatever. Okay. So if you go to the gym and it's 9:00 AM and no one there is chatty. Then try a different timeframe if you can, because maybe the chatty people come at seven. I can tell you in my neighborhood, the chatty people come in seven. I can tell you that. All right. So, overall 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Remember we talked about, I'm not saying you need to do all five of these things. I'm saying I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. Okay. You deserve that. I want you to live a happy long life and in order to do so, according to longest study ever, you need to have people, people that are refrigerator, friends, how do you get the refrigerator friend, people to be your friend? Well, you gotta get out there and meet them somehow. I'm not saying you need to do all five of these things. I'm saying pick one. Okay. One just pick one of them. Okay. And. The last thing that I'm going to say about this. If you are not comfortable having conversations. In PA maybe you're an introvert. Maybe you're not comfortable talking to people. Maybe I understand that I'm a little bit introverted myself, actually. So if you are a person who's not comfortable talking with people, here's, this is a quick tip. Anything that you practice, you're going to be better at. Without even trying simply practicing will make you better. So if you are really uncomfortable, you could think about a few just stories and. Practice them in the mirror. Stories about your life stories, things that have happened to you in the recent weeks or months. Uh, keep it light. All right. We're not going to reveal some deeply rooted personal issues. Okay. We're. It's not that we're going to keep it light. and we're going to practice in the mirror if that's what we're going to do, because listen stuff, crazy things happen to us all the time. So just, you know, as things happen to you in your life, just. Practiced in the mirror a couple of times. Going through it. And if that makes you more comfortable, then you can share it when you meet your person. Because you're in being intentional about talking to people. When you go to set events, Okay, so practical handles, recap. Ready? Number one. Do something nice for your neighbor? Number two, join a friend app number three. I attended church or a Bible study, number four. Connect with someone at an event Which you are attending to cultivate your interest. Like a book club. Or Frisbee. Or bowling or art. Art show. Okay. Number five, join a gym, or at least walk to the gym. Maybe that can be your neighbor friend, right? Maybe you can have two friends. I don't know. Anything is possible. And the reason why friends. You're my friend. The reason why is because I want you to be happy. I want you to live a happy life. You can do it. Life is not always easy, but that's why we have each other. One thing I can promise you. We were not meant to live this life alone. That I can promise you. Okay. We're done. So here's what we have coming up in the next few episodes. We're going to talk about insecure leaders, which is going to be, oh, that might be my favorite because think Michael Scott, but in real life, People are actually crazy. Who are leading people? It's insane. So that's going to be a fun episode, also boundaries because who doesn't love a cross boundary. Okay. You need boundaries in your life boundaries in your personal life boundaries in your professional life. You need boundaries with yourself. Yeah. I said it. remember to share, subscribe, like do all the things because we're friends and that's what friends do. They keep up with each other. All right. So I love y'all and I'll talk to y'all soon. Take care and see you next week.