3 Habits for Improved Communication

hey today we're going to talk about communication new managers what is the number one reason that they fail communication today we're going over three simple steps to be better at your communication okay so we're going to talk about how to fix it because you're in charge and we want to get better at Communication in home in office three steps easy peasy I'm so confident that we could do this together because these things are the easiest okay easiest step ever okay there's things that stop us from communicating before we jump into to talk about how we're going to improve communication we should talk about why are we not communicating in the first place so I will list a few reasons that we don't communicate just so that you can feel not alone so number one is maybe you're afraid of how the person will react to what it is that you're about to say maybe you're afraid to ask for help maybe some of us were raised to think that asking for for help is a weakness so we won't ask for help so then we don't communicate that maybe you don't like telling people what to do and then there are my personal favorites I'm just going to bury my feelings instead of facing them that's what I'm going to do and even if you have one of these one of these reasons or two of these reasons or mix and match or maybe you have some other reason it's it's okay because we all are walking this out together and communication is a fundamental skill though for all of your life in your home in your your office in your everywhere communication it's fundamental so we are going to talk about it because we can be better and it's just so easy I'm going to give you some steps oh and the better that you are communicating the better that your life is your people you're communicating with your people better and that means that you have better relationships and if you have better relationships that means a better life right we talked about that last week if you didn't listen to that episode yet go back find your people it's called find your people and it explains all the reasons why your people is the way to find the happiness all right number one ready set number one establish a Cadence for communication for your particular situation okay so how often are you going to communicate to whatever your situation is so if you're at home it's that situation your husband maybe or your wife or your kids if you're at work and you have a team or you have a boss how often do you need to communicate with them what is the status of your current situation so because it's going to depend now I'll give you a real live example so you can decide what this might look like for you and your specific situation so real life I have taken over so many broken teams it's kind of a bad habit well it's good habit I like fixing things so when you take over a broken team everything is broken we're missing goals we're dropping the ball on the metrics we are not collaborating we are everything's broken and when you have a broken team that requires a lot of communication now maybe you're in a situation you've taken over a broken team let me tell you we're talking about team meetings in the morning team meetings in the afternoon one-on ones during the day you may even have to have a quick huddle in the afternoon too I'm talking about tons of communication if the team is broken you're going to have to communicate a lot on the other hand if your team is good they're functioning they're collaborating they're hitting the goals they're coming up with great ideas they're moving and shaking you don't need to meet with them all the time okay yeah you need to have one on ones because that's the glue that holds all the things together but you don't have to have a team meeting at the beginning of the day and the end of the day it's not necessary when your team is functioning how many things are changing at work that you need to actually communicate so maybe once a week maybe even once every other week you need to meet with them all right this is the same if your body is way out of shape for example if your body is way out of shape it takes a ton of attention a ton of work a ton of effort on the other hand if it's just a little you know 15 lbs no big deal uh we could do this just a little bit of attention here and there at the start you know add some protein lift some weights you know we need strength training and uh you know don't eat too many cookies there you go all done if your body is way way out of shape it takes a ton of work a ton of attention a ton of you know it's a ton and communication works the same way number two establish an environment that works well for communication environment matters okay let me give you an example if you're having a meeting in a meeting room that feels one type of way if you're having a meeting in your office it feels a little bit different if you're having a meeting in your boss's office it feels a little bit different if you have a meeting in hr's office feels a little bit different okay so the the environment matters the environment matters that's what I have to say if your Cadence is once a week you want to have a an environment once a week where your people can feel safe and secure and seen and heard maybe the environment you're meeting in is too loud maybe it's too distracting maybe there's too many things going on around you maybe you've been meeting in your office and you're the boss and you didn't realize that it makes people feel a little off-kilter cuz it does cuz youve it's a power move basically it's power move um not saying that you should never meet with people in your office but I'm saying if you're trying to have a collaborative type meeting then that meeting should occur in a meeting room if it's in your office you're giving the vibe that you're in charge and you call the shots which I understand you do but your team doesn't want to necessarily feel like they don't have a voice do that hurt I'm sorry did that hurt okay here's another thing I don't want to talk when I'm hungry I don't know about you but I'm pretty sure that whenever they put hangry in the dictionary it was because of me someone met me and was like you know what this is actually a thing we should put this in the dictionary because it's real life I met it it is me maybe you don't want to have a meeting right before lunch 11:30 to 12 is probably not a good meeting time Monday morning nobody wants to meet with you Monday morning I assure you they're trying to catch up from the emails that they got on the weekend and late Friday night they don't want to meet with you Monday morning they want to get their their life together they want to get everything set for the week okay Friday night nobody wants to meet with you Friday night don't schedule meeting Friday night right before I R B of the Le they're planning the weekend they're trying to get finish everything up wrap it up tie it in a bow so they can SK adle okay here's another thing people don't want to communicate when they're tired I'm realizing that all of these apply to me y'all pray for my husband okay that's all I have to say I don't want to communicate basically ever when I'm tired when I'm hungry which is basically all the time or what okay let's take a step back people probably don't want to communicate when they're tired it's it's one thing to maybe it's a little light conversation but if I'm tired I can't have a real serious conversation I just can't cuz I'm tired all right so the bottom line number two for creating an environment is that there are going to be times when whatever it is that you have to communicate is not easy it maybe uncomfortable might be challenging maybe for you maybe for them maybe for both and if that's the situation you just want to you set up an environment that is conducive easy calm quiet on your regularly scheduled times then it makes it just a little bit easier for you and for everybody when you have to communicate something that's just a little bit more challenging and that's what we're trying to do remove impediments okay make it as easy as possible and so if you have Cadence scheduled where you're meeting with the team every week and you're meeting in the same room every week it's just it's easier it reduces complexities people like habits they like stability people want to feel safe and one of the things that helps a person to feel safe is to have stability that comes from you too all right stability in your attitude stability in your expectation all right I'm not going to get into that I ain't got time for all that all right number three what's number three keep notes of your discussion items in some typee of form all right so I came notes on my phone because my phone is always with me and I have a Notes app but that's my life right now before I could tell you I had a a notebook that I carried around a very specific notebook and that was what I used for all my things and it gets messy but at the end of the day or during um a LOL in your afternoon you can kind of clean it up organize it keep the notes because you have notes for your husband you have notes for your wife you have notes for your team you have notes for your okay there are a lot of things happening you're busy okay we know you're busy and when you get busy it just it gets challenging to keep track of all the things for example you got to tell your husband what Karen just said at the meeting because he isn't going to believe it you have to tell your bestie about what you just found in your teenager's room okay you you also have to reply with a really good GIF on the team thread not to mention that someone on your team caught off unexpectedly and somebody else on your team Miss expectations for the second week in a row second week in a row we need to write that down because we don't know what's going to happen there and then on top of that somebody just talked to you about they're about to quit they are about to quit their job and they're a really good employee you do not want them to quit so you need to do something about that now all this stuff is happening you need to write this stuff down okay you don't have to write a dissertation I'm just saying make a little note a tiny little jot shorthand something that you can remember that you have to talk to and then you can organize them all later maybe in midday end of day depending how many notes you have depending on how busy your life is because you know what sometimes my life is really busy all right so let me recap for you and uh encourage you to make a decision because remember that no decision is a decision and let's just get it all let's rip off the Mandate and get it all in one go all right here it is one more more time three easy steps for improved communication number one establish a Cadence for communication that works best for you and your situation so whatever that means for you I don't know maybe it's once a week maybe it's twice a day I don't know it depends how broken is your situation the more broken it is the more often that you should be communicating number two establish an environment that works for you and your team for a specific situation maybe it's home maybe it's at the office but the environment should be conducive to collaboration it should be quiet should make everyone feel calm or encourage calmness number three keep notes of all your things you're busy I'm busy we don't we're not necessarily going to remember every single thing and if you forget something you're going to regret it because that person who already failed to meet expectations twice this week guess what she's going to fail to meet expectations next week too and if you don't address her now it's going to turn into a big old honking thing then you're going to get angry and then you know when you get angry you start to say stuff that you don't mean to say hurt people's feelings unnecessarily you get emotional guys please okay it's not worth it it's not worth it all right so those are the lessons for today remember if you want to hear me talk about something specific send me a message on YouTube or whatever you could also call 86461 916 683 or send me a text message and listen friend I know it's not easy but remember that whatever it is you're walking through you're certainly not alone thanks for listening team take care and see you next week provide for me that's why I stand on the book